Cyberbullying Hits Home

Tonight I found out from my 10 year old that a girl in her class has uploaded a video on YouTube about her. This girl was an on-and-off friend of my daughter, and I’ve questioned the friendship for sometime. I could never have imagined that a small school tiff led her to produce a video announcing her dislike of my daughter. But she was quick to admit, quite openly, that she created the video. She even gave the kids, including my daughter, the name of the video and what she had said. I reviewed the comments below the video–> my daughter noted the number of her friends also on Youtube — mostly attacking this girl for posting the video in the first place. 

I doubt my daughter understands the ramifications of what’s on the video but she was smart enough to understand that this is not something you do normally to a friend, especially if the spat was minor.  Or was it minor? And is this behaviour an anomaly? Now, I’m not so sure, but I am thankful she chose to come to us with this as opposed to deal with it herself.

In today’s democratization of content, people do post things that are inappropriate and I’ve witnessed friendly, diplomatic disputes on Twitter.  But for the most part that’s among mature adults… mature is the operative word. Kids are not so discrete. They respond to the moment, and openly display their attacks without any thought to consequences of their actions. Their weapons are words…. more hurtful because it’s displayed for the world to see… and the more views or responses seem to validate the original posting. It’s extremely easy to build this audience. The power of the spoken word, as I’ve seen in my line of work, can reach many …. on the school yard to the classrom, and inevitably to the computer screen. The more controversial, the greater the appeal —- many times at the expense of someone’s reputation and honour.

I went to look for the video again and this time a message popped up that it had been removed by the user. Perhaps she was found out; or perhaps she realized what she had done. It doesn’t really matter at this point. The damage had been done and it’s left a little girl wondering what she had done to deserve this. What I fear is the ease that this has been developed. The web has given people the ability to build voice at incredible speed and reach. It never occurred to me that I would be experiencing it first hand.

I love the work that I do and I often tell family and friends…. mostly naysayers of social media… that you just need to be aware what your kids are doing online and ensure the communication is open. That does not give you control of what happens but it mitigates the fallout, if any. I don’t want to shield my child from the web… the reality is she will receive the note one way or another: at school or even by phone. I just want to make sure I’ve taught her enough to come to her parents when these things are beyond her control.

 

 

My Return to Music

I knew there was a reason I returned to music. I may not be the most naturally talented cellist but I love the journey in learning and take pride in my accomplishments. I’m a late bloomer and while I have been trained at the Royal Conservatory in my very early years, I abandoned the craft, foolishly thinking that it would do me no good in my later years.

And when I see videos such as my favourites below, I know I’ve made the right decision to return to music. I think I’ve finally come home:)

Ukele Kid: I’m Yours: Ok, he can’t sing but he sure can play! And he’s really adorable!

August Rush: Guitar Slap: One of my favourite scenes from the movie!

guitar90: Canon: Everytime I see this I am speechless. I recently played at a string concert –over 60 violinists and cellists playing in our own rendition of Pachebel’s Canon! I’m always moved by this particular piece!

Words of Wisdom from George Carlin

I was looking back at an old blog post I wrote in September 2008. I received this as a chain letter but the words seem to resonate.  It was written by George Carlin shortly after his wife passed away. This is one chain letter that’s worth passing along…

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t send this to at least 8 people….Who cares?

George Carlin

Posted via web from hessiej’s posterous

Good-bye Midas. We’ll miss you! July 10, 2009

Yesterday afternoon we said good-bye to my parent’s Golden Lab, Midas. Midas just turned 12 this past spring. He has always been a joy to both my parents the minute he entered their lives. My younger sister originally owned Midas and when she moved to the big city it made sense for this young pup to stay in a home that gave him plenty of room to run plus gave him a home with family he already came to love.

I remember when Midas first entered our lives. He was the cutest golden pup, with a button nose, incredible rambunctiousness and energy, and an eye for mischief. He was quite a handful and this continued to be his monniker over the years. He did go to obedience school for a time but the discipline was something that didn’t come quite easily to this little dog with a mind of his own. I watched “Me and Marley” early this year and it so reminded me of the times we had with Midas. I know my mom would say that I was hard on Midas, that he was not a bad dog. I didn’t know any better — I never had a dog and I expected that he would learn, as we had, the responsibilities of growing up in our family. That meant not barking so loud in the house … which he often did; or jumping up on the table and gobbling up as much available food that he could muster before his collar was yanked away….which happened a lot; and sleeping where dogs are supposed to sleep — on the floor or on their own bed not on my parents’ bed. The latter brought back memories of me passing by my parents’ bedroom late one night and finding Midas asleep beside my dad while my mom lay perpendicular at the foot of the bed. “Odd” I thought, “the dog and the master seemed to have reversed their roles”.

But the real story was that my parents’ so loved this dog that they treated him like gold. Midas was their “boy” and he was given the world. I often smirk when I think of their newly reupholstered living room sofa and love-seat, covered with sheets, newly sewn for Midas. This would be his bed for life. I felt like I was infringing on his territory when I proceeded to sit on one of the two pieces of furniture. When people came over they had to pull the sheets off — an odd site that seemed to unnaturally transform the room into a proper sitting area.

My parents said they disciplined Midas and they almost convinced us that he had changed….well, sort of. Jumping on the table with food on it was Classic Midas. He did it, oh so perfectly, when no one expected it. It didn’t help that my parents did not consistently tie him up. At times he was seated by the table when we all were eating. Despite one parent’s hand on the leash and the other on the utensil, this did not deter this ambitious dog, intent on making a serious food killing….and he succeeded every time. A stern yelling from my dad with a finger waving in front of his nose was not punishment enough. The next time was even more priceless as he successfully pounced after most of the table was cleared. It seemed more acceptable since most of us had already eaten. My mom was able to keep the kitchen clear of food access when they were away from home but once that food was exposed it was “dead meat”.

I know I was hard on Midas but I, in hindsight, found his antics amusing. He loved my kids, and my nieces and nephews. He loved to be pet; and in his later years he was content just to sit by my dad’s chair when he was at the computer. My mom used to say that Midas would be by the window when they left for work and would be at the window when they returned home, with his tail wagging in excitement. It was a joy for both my mom and dad to see him at the end of the day.

And that’s why it was so important for me to write this post. Midas played a strong role in our lives. He was always there for my parents (in my mom’s words) “through harsh times and good times”. He was a constant in their lives who brought extreme joy to both of them. In the last little while, Midas had started slowing down. His breathing was laboured; evening walks were more about walking than running; and going up the stairs was an arduous task. When we finally made the decision to let Midas go it was incredibly difficult for me and my kids. All the memories came rushing back as I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Seeing my dad, who has always been the strong pillar of the family, break down was extremely difficult to witness. We would never see Midas again at least on this earth.

In the last 24 hours the pain has abated somewhat as my family sat together to share memories and view photos of all of us. It was a great time, something we hadn’t done in a very long time. And I appreciated my parents more in that moment than I ever had. If anything, Midas has taught me so much about unconditional love, loyalty and the simple pleasures of spending “time” with those you love. I told my kids to pray for Midas and my parents in their grief. As my son prayed tonight, he added the words, “Midas, when we are 100 years old, we will all be together again in heaven”. Midas, thank you for what you’ve brought to our lives. We will miss you so very much. Knowing what you’ve given to my family — my mom, dad and sister, in particular has given me a better perspective on life. Thank you and rest in peace! Love Hessie

Midas July 2009

Midas July 2009